Friday, January 28, 2011

Natasha's "Quote Book" #1

One day I'm gonna be famous. And I say the darndest things. So I figured I might make a small collective as I go.

1. I lived the best 40 years of my life by the time I was 12.
2. 95% of my friends don't appreciate me. 60% of them will actually take elements and viewpoints from me and never credit me for it.
3. The only reason I write so much is because there is no one to tell the story to; but they are listening. They're just too lazy to say so.
4. If there was ever a purging of white people on the basis that we're not worthy of living because we're boring, I'd have to play any song by the Sonics or the Sparkles and prove them wrong. (I'd like to add a second version of this quote, "I'd play 'I'm a Man' by Spencer Davis Group.")
5. I consider myself to be a very smart person. I just play dumb so that others will do stuff for me.

*More to come soon!*

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Rain Falls Upward

Well, I'm awful sorry about being gone so long. 2 colds back to back and 1 ice storm, you get kinda discouraged to physically write but there are so many thoughts swarming around. I also had a few art commissions to take care of. But once I finished the bulk of it, I had to squeeze out a few angry turds on Facebook, and since I'd LOVE to see this blog turn into a book (or at least inspire one), I'm reposting it here:

This note may never be read by anyone, or any of the eyes that should see it, but one day I hope this will become an important part of history when it comes to the study of such topics as evolution or sociology, where one might want to know what it's like to be an intelligent person trapped in a "ditzy" body and an even ditzier world.
Whatever may become of this note, lost in the dark whirlpool of the endless internet, or to rise like a spout that washes away the junk that plagues the folds of the brains of my colleagues, I will say just what I mean and WILL NOT FEEL SORRY ABOUT IT.
I am realizing more that I have had to live like everyone's puppet for 27 years. The shell of me has worked so hard for the advancement of individuals in and all around my environment, with nary a reward but "Keep up the good work," if I'm even so lucky.
No matter how hard I press myself, it is never enough; no matter how watchful I am of my words, I am always too brash.
This morning's conversation went like this, "I'm so tired of being treated like a princess (i.e. some member of the Windsor family that is required to curtsy every 5 seconds?) and people being so critical of me. 'This part where you used the word 'and,' I think that was a little too harsh. Could you please change that?"
What makes me cringe and boil over even more is that the ones who treat me the most childish, the most cruel, the most BELITTLING, have no expertise in any of the areas they are critically analyzing me over. WHO are you to tell me there is a line out of place or that the one blade of grass should be moved over to the left a bit, or in non-art situations, that I don't try hard enough or deserve the most basic of humanly needs.

What have you known of my life before you have met me?
When have you put yourself in my shoes?
What have you TRIED to do, for a situation like this or for ANYONE besides yourself?

SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH.

I have never known anyone to give more of themselves than I have, besides my dog, who would attack anyone in the honor and protection of his owners.

I have never known anyone who has listened, EVERY person I know has either chastised me for feeling the way I do or completely ignored even my kind offers to get together and TRY to be a normal person. A simple lunch or artistic thoughts coming together. I am glad that at least Chaz has made attempts to be supportive, but sadly almost 700 others ignoring or being disgusting can smother that glimmer of hope one has to see change in this "somebody else will do it for me" generation.

If I don't go mad and end up killing myself from the stagnant life in which I am just pushing a boulder 10 times my size uphill, do not be surprised if I just become completely defiant and critical OF YOU.

I take back NOTHING I've said, because I've tried. And none of you will ever change, or ever make a difference until some life changing event or a comet hits earth.

Keep reading your false prophecies and articles about your plastic celebrities. I'll be in touch with Dali, Warhol, Darwin, Leary, and Kerouac. Shame we will never see such brilliance in our lifetime.