Grow Your Own

What's new? Well, the job hunt has finally proven a bit fruitful. Had 2 interviews, actually did a little work with one, and hoping that there will be more and possibly 2 jobs. Also going to get into some online schooling so I can have all my cake and eat it too.
I just ALWAYS need to stay busy. I have too much running around in my head. Why else do I have 5 blogs, a new Tumblr (http://mondoteeno.tumblr.com) and working on art, filling out surveys for points and Amazon cred.
Dude, in the past month I have redeemed said points and earned:
-Book: Gonzo, the Art of Ralph Steadman (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, very Pink Floyd The Wall style)

-The History of Rock and Roll DVD set,
-I am Curious DVD set [a racy 60s Swedish Criterion Collection film, which btw seeing every CC film is part of my bucket list],
-The Girl in the Song, a book about famous songs about girls and the stories behind them.
-a book about Jackie Curtis, famous drag queen of the Velvet Underground/ 70s New York crowd,
-The William S. Burroughs book Naked Lunch,
-a book about bad hair,
-a book about San Francisco in the 60s, 
-a book on Aubrey Beardsley art,

-a Toltec teachings book for my boyfriend, and a few Cheech and Chong movie downloads, as my boyfriend has somehow missed these and their persistent Comedy Central re-airs throughout his childhood.)

So have I been occupied or what?

How have you been beating the summertime blues?

Right about now...

I have the same disposition as a cat choking on a hairball. I just want to hack up the thing that is aggravating me (unemployment, anyone?) and then spend the rest of my day figuring out how to escape from the house the same way other humans do. Just how the heck do they do that? Through a hole in the wall? Can I walk through the wall? How about this glass door thing? The sun is getting through, there's got to be some way I can...

ABlahahagagaihgag!

Ok, so that sucker's come up now. And it's time to eat. So I have completely abandoned my mission.

what in the...?

A couple of days ago I was staying in this wood house secluded in the high blue mountains of North Carolina, right at the tip above Georgia. I walked out around 2-3 am and watched the fireflies flickering in the bushes, drinking my corn whiskey, and every so often, alternating to the REAL stars in the sky. I could see the galaxies. Right then and there, I knew I'd rather roll myself over the cliff of the tallest mountain than have to come back home. Georgia's job market is down the tubes, and I've applied to the same places in my area about 3 times, ne'er so much as a call for an interview. I'd at least understand if they didn't want me after seeing my goofy face, but my credentials and skills are almost more immaculate than the stars I was looking at; if I have a completed degree I could take on the world!

I better pause there, because the stress of nearly 8 months unemployed and feeling like you're riding on your almost-famous rock star boyfriend's coat tails [because of the fact] is already killing some brain cells.
I'd also like to apologize to you, Marcos. I don't get notified of comments/responses so I had no idea you'd been actually paying any attention to these things. I also hate Facebook for it's vacuum effect on people's ability to make a real connection with a human over an inane status update and plan to avoid it, but I noticed you were M.I.A. there. How's the pups?

PEAAAAZZZE-ZOUT!

The Hardest Thing You'll Ever Know

So nowwww I think I really know why I don't come here. I think about it every day, honestly, to come here and spout. I love to spout. I think I'm a pretty fun writer, I've been told, but really, I just shell it out the way that it goes in my head. Breakin' all the rules of professional writing. Anyway, back to the matter at hand.
I have been without work for about 7 months, and that is sick.
I have not been unemployed since I was about 18 (almost 10 years) and it really grosses me out that I have applied to about 95% of the places around here and can't even get a call. My resume is excellent, probably TOO good, which could be another reason, but the other 5% of jobs I can't get here are because they're inside hiring or require a degree. Ugh. I probably could do the work of 3 degree'd slackers but sadly that's not the way it works in the backwards world of the U. S. of A. (Yes I'll dog this place because YES I do want to leave, but a few things are keeping me here. But trust me, I'll be on the first ferry to France or Germany I'll tell ya that!)

Ok, so I got off track again. Here are the two reasons I haven't been a good mommy to my 5 blogs: 1. Work. As I already stated, situation sucks. And I feel completely guilty when I do anything non-money making related. I would love it if some soccer mom celebrity-twitter-follower happened across one of them and propelled me to stardom, but that's not the way my luck rolls. SO, I have to keep suffering in my own anguish and filth until I could be so lucky to work at some McDonald's somewhere. And 2. My keyboard(s) are the absolute worst possible inventions that ever lived. The one built into my laptop works whenever it wants to, the backspace and enter keys even less so. Whenever they aren't having a stroke, I guess. So I had bought this other keyboard, and guess what, the USB to it works whenever IT is not on its period. Somehow though, the mouse I attached to it seems to fare a little better.


So I say, dear readers, all -1 of you, if you could wish me some luck, so I can be in better spirits to keep you entertained, OR GET ME A JOB WITH YOU! Yeeeeah! Til next time...

Sorry bout that...

I really haven't been meaning to abandon my blogs. I come up with things I want to say and plan on getting here and saying them, then go do something else like play online games or schoolwork or some other unimportant thing to do.
Well today I figured I better get a couple of these quotes in here before I forget them or someone else sez 'em. I'm not going to turn this place into a quote book, but I will warn you there will be the occasional Bukowski style quip. Now these will sound fairly depressing but I'm actually been in an okay mood, as long as I got my Os Mutantes, Jacques Dutronc, and Supergrass right now to tide me over while my supportive boyfriend's on tour.

Here goes:
"When you're living a life that doesn't want you in it, all you can do is just make the best of it."
"Every single person I've encountered in my life has somehow, in some way, never given me a chance."
"If I ever die, no matter what the coroner says, even if it's a gunshot wound or poison, know the real cause is heartbreak."
"Family...can't live with 'em, can't be emotionally drained without 'em."

Natasha's "Quote Book" #1

One day I'm gonna be famous. And I say the darndest things. So I figured I might make a small collective as I go.

1. I lived the best 40 years of my life by the time I was 12.
2. 95% of my friends don't appreciate me. 60% of them will actually take elements and viewpoints from me and never credit me for it.
3. The only reason I write so much is because there is no one to tell the story to; but they are listening. They're just too lazy to say so.
4. If there was ever a purging of white people on the basis that we're not worthy of living because we're boring, I'd have to play any song by the Sonics or the Sparkles and prove them wrong. (I'd like to add a second version of this quote, "I'd play 'I'm a Man' by Spencer Davis Group.")
5. I consider myself to be a very smart person. I just play dumb so that others will do stuff for me.

*More to come soon!*

The Rain Falls Upward

Well, I'm awful sorry about being gone so long. 2 colds back to back and 1 ice storm, you get kinda discouraged to physically write but there are so many thoughts swarming around. I also had a few art commissions to take care of. But once I finished the bulk of it, I had to squeeze out a few angry turds on Facebook, and since I'd LOVE to see this blog turn into a book (or at least inspire one), I'm reposting it here:

This note may never be read by anyone, or any of the eyes that should see it, but one day I hope this will become an important part of history when it comes to the study of such topics as evolution or sociology, where one might want to know what it's like to be an intelligent person trapped in a "ditzy" body and an even ditzier world.
Whatever may become of this note, lost in the dark whirlpool of the endless internet, or to rise like a spout that washes away the junk that plagues the folds of the brains of my colleagues, I will say just what I mean and WILL NOT FEEL SORRY ABOUT IT.
I am realizing more that I have had to live like everyone's puppet for 27 years. The shell of me has worked so hard for the advancement of individuals in and all around my environment, with nary a reward but "Keep up the good work," if I'm even so lucky.
No matter how hard I press myself, it is never enough; no matter how watchful I am of my words, I am always too brash.
This morning's conversation went like this, "I'm so tired of being treated like a princess (i.e. some member of the Windsor family that is required to curtsy every 5 seconds?) and people being so critical of me. 'This part where you used the word 'and,' I think that was a little too harsh. Could you please change that?"
What makes me cringe and boil over even more is that the ones who treat me the most childish, the most cruel, the most BELITTLING, have no expertise in any of the areas they are critically analyzing me over. WHO are you to tell me there is a line out of place or that the one blade of grass should be moved over to the left a bit, or in non-art situations, that I don't try hard enough or deserve the most basic of humanly needs.

What have you known of my life before you have met me?
When have you put yourself in my shoes?
What have you TRIED to do, for a situation like this or for ANYONE besides yourself?

SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH.

I have never known anyone to give more of themselves than I have, besides my dog, who would attack anyone in the honor and protection of his owners.

I have never known anyone who has listened, EVERY person I know has either chastised me for feeling the way I do or completely ignored even my kind offers to get together and TRY to be a normal person. A simple lunch or artistic thoughts coming together. I am glad that at least Chaz has made attempts to be supportive, but sadly almost 700 others ignoring or being disgusting can smother that glimmer of hope one has to see change in this "somebody else will do it for me" generation.

If I don't go mad and end up killing myself from the stagnant life in which I am just pushing a boulder 10 times my size uphill, do not be surprised if I just become completely defiant and critical OF YOU.

I take back NOTHING I've said, because I've tried. And none of you will ever change, or ever make a difference until some life changing event or a comet hits earth.

Keep reading your false prophecies and articles about your plastic celebrities. I'll be in touch with Dali, Warhol, Darwin, Leary, and Kerouac. Shame we will never see such brilliance in our lifetime.

The 27 Club

Sick as a dog...I have been dealing with a sinus infection for a couple of days. I had avoided any illnesses for months, perhaps even a year that I can remember, and now I'm cranky and grouchy like a big baby.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I'm grateful that I can at least taste and somewhat smell because I'm going to get some free Italian dinner.

What have I been up to?
Let's see.

-Signed up to study being a Medical Assistant at Medix. I know I'm no medical type person but I am interested in the sciences lately, there's lots of money in the field, and it's literally across the street. So why not?
-Participating in research studies and doing a LOT of surveys to maintain my share of the bill since going a month without a job now.
-Also selling things on ebay: http://shop.ebay.com/mondoteeno/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=25
-Just realizing that every time I hit Enter the cursor goes UP. Why doesn't anything I own want to work properly? Btw, I have been using a plugged in keyboard with this lousy laptop for about a year and a half now haha.
-Listening to a lot of War, Curtis Mayfield, Sly and the Family Stone, Parliament, and Funkadelic lately. Chaz would be thrilled to have a second band that plays funk music.
-Doing a lot of art work lately. I need to update but you can check out what I've done here: http://viciousbunnies.deviantart.com

Oh god okay I need to lay down right now.